How to avoid activating a girl’s past

Many of us have had bad experiences when it comes to dating and relationships. With the advent of things like online dating and mobile dating applications, it becomes difficult to judge a person. You never know when you’re being lied to. Some people get over such things quickly. For them, it is just something that is meant to be forgotten or never happened. However, for most people it is quite difficult to get over such things and for these types of people, every little thing reminds them of the relationship that they came out of. If you or your current partner is one of them, then there is nothing to worry about. Remembering something or becoming emotional about it doesn’t make you a weak or damaged person. That just means that you feel more than other, and that is a great thing. It makes you a kind, giving and caring person.  However of you’ve recently started dating someone like this, it might be wise to avoid activating their bad memories if you want a healthy relationship. Girls usually end up making comparisons with their previous relationships, and that is something that isn’t good for yours. So here are a few tips that you should follow if you want to avoid activating past negative emotions:

  1. Avoid talking about the past: This is the first and foremost rule to follow. You’re in the present, and you’re sitting with your date. That is all that matters. Avoid talking about the past because that leads to nostalgia which in turn leads to them wistfully thinking about their previous relationships. Talk about your likes and dislikes, or your work or your hobbies. These are the safe zones that you should adopt. Talking about past experiences is a big no no. It is a straightaway danger zone, and you need to avoid it altogether.
  2. Try going to new places: As cliché as it sounds but don’t go to old or famous places when you go on a date. Firstly, the chances are that your date may have went or been planning to go to such places with their ex. Going to such places may also cause their bad memories to be triggered and then there goes your night (down the drain). Don’t do this. Instead, look for new places or places that are not that common. This action will give your date a good start too.
  3. Try something unconventional: Typical dates nowadays involve going out for dinner or going to watch a movie. Try and skip that. If you know what types of activities your date likes then plan something according to that. For example, if your date is the adventurous sort then take them for a hike. Or if they are into animals then take them to a zoo. This will also get you a lot of extra brownie points. You will come off as someone who actually cares about them enough to know their likes and dislikes.

In the end, just make sure you distract them enough that their attention remains on you the whole time! Best of luck!

Abby Cook is the editor-in-chief of LOV’s Blog LOV is a mobile dating app that uses your social activity to determine your personality. She is a writer, elementary school teacher, and a loving wife; and she adores hosting parties and living a meaningful life. She encourages all of her single friends to find their true love as well on LOV for free. Follow on